Suicide is a very taboo subject and isn't something anyone likes to talk about even myself. But this is something that does happen more than we like to think.
I had a family member who took their own life a long time ago and I have even attempted myself. This isn't something I have ever spoken about out of the family apart from my therapy sessions, but it something that I would like to become more spoken about as it affects so many of us and we start to feel we have no-one to turn to. I would like to think that people can use this blog to help through hard times and help get them through.
Lets go right to the beginning.....
I am not going to go into a lot of detail as its not something we like to speak about or you would like to read about but I had a very close family member who decided to take their own life over 10 years ago but I didn't know about this as I was such a little girl, but this did come about 8 years after the death. As my family were all about protecting me but I will tell you there is no way of protecting someone when it comes to something like this! It actually made it a whole lot more difficult as I never understand why she wasn't here as no-one even gave me a reason. But families do what families do best and thats PROTECT.
After all of this time I had finally found out the real reason why she was no longer here but then all I had was questions that no-one could answer such as why?, what was so bad?, why then? why my family?, what did I do wrong?, what could I of done to stop it? and so on as when it comes to suicide if there is no note then how will we ever know! Overtime though to start to realise these are the questions which you have to come to terms with and you will more than likely never have the answers.
Family will always be on your side, don't do what I did and leave it so long to talk about this situation as this is something you need to work through as a family. You need to be able to support each other through the hard days and be there for a laugh on the good days. No doubt you will need to be someones shoulder to cry on and they yours but it will be all worth while down the line. The support you have will get you through this situation as this is something you are never really prepared for and probably never will.
One thing I am do believe strongly in is that just because this is a bad situation doesn't mean you should turn into a horrible person. You need to come out of this and be able to support your friends and family as after all you know times can be hard without the support. I have realised that helping loved ones makes everything worth while. Just because I've had a hard 15 years doesn't mean that I am going to be an nasty person to people who wouldn't understand and people who don't deserve it. So just be the best you, you can be as the person who is no longer here wouldn't want to see you be this horrible bitter person would they?
Life will be hard and it's something you will more than likely battle with throughout your life but I tell you now this is all about being the strong person that YOU are! I have all the faith in you and if I can get through this then you can too.
You will come across som
e nasty people who will feel the need to constantly remind you that your uncle, dad, mum, sister, brother took their own life, but they don't understand the reasons. They don't know what they have been through and most of all they don't understand the effect it has on the family members around you. You should never let them bring you down or make you feel that the person is weak or was a worthless human being! As far as we are concerned they are the strongest person we know who just couldn't take the weight of the world on their shoulders anymore. So just keep strong for them!
I'll leave you with this little quote -
"It is not seen as insane when a fighter, under an attack that will inevitable lead to his death, chooses to take his own life first. In fact, this act has been encouraged for centuries, and is accepted even now as an honorable reason to do the deed. How is it any different when you are under attack by your own mind?"
V x
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